******* I could not resist the music - LOL
So, I think that it is more than appropriate in honor of Ken, as in Barbie and Ken, turning 50 that I had a run in this morning with a real life Barbie…
Now training at my gym is a serious subject for me… I am not terribly friendly at my gym, I view it as work and “me” time… My routines as described here are not for the faint of heart, and it takes a lot of concentration and determination to continue moving forward… With that said I think you will agree I am not out for any social aspect of the gym…
Well today I was doing intermediate planks… A quick explanation, a plank is when you rest on your forearms in a push up position for as long as you can… it is a core exercise… intermediate planks are when you do the same thing except your arms are resting on a very wily yoga ball… in other words your core has to be pretty strong in order to do the exercise and NOT fall off the ball…
Now I think you can imagine that this, like all exercise, requires concentration… I am trying desperately not to fall off the ball… So you can imagine my surprise when from behind me I hear a high pitch voice and a gum snap, saying, “You’re doing that wrong…”
Now I thought for a moment that I might be hearing things but I heard another gum snap, the same words and then out of the corner of my eye I saw the bedazzled pink leg warmer of a potential new menace in my life… Barbie…
For the record, I would normally welcome criticism… In fact, I probably would appreciate finding out the “right way” to do something – but it was that tone in her voice… I think you know what I mean… that tone that sorta tells you, “ I’m right and you're wrong”, without even room for explanation… Perhaps I’m just sensitive but trust me when I say this – this was no supportive or constructive assist – I was an easy target for this Mattel wannabe…
Literally standing before me was a living Barbie doll, sweat band included… Blonde hair in a ponytail, a very form fitting pink and rainbow combo spandex outfit and sneakers I am sure actually light up when she walks… I must have looked quizzical to elicit yet another gum snap… All I kept thinking was how does she fit in that dream house of hers? She had an abundance of confidence and clearly a following at the gym… Lots of the himbos were checking her out… but I was the “lucky” one she was addressing….
She went ahead and stationed herself in front of me… She said, “If you keep doing that you’re gonna hurt yourself”, gum snap and chew, chew and more chew…
It is rare that I am in the presence of a living cliché… All she needed to add to her repertoire was a couple of, “Like Oh my Gods” and boom – I would have been transported back in time about 20 years… But with a clear plastic resolve – she owned what she was – and strangely I appreciated that…
I said to her, “Well, this is how I was taught how to do it, by one of the trainers here… You know this is the intermediate plank…”
More vapid than Sarah Brightman in Phantom of the Opera, I just felt the icy gaze of disapproval… I have to say at this point I noticed her chewing was quite impressive… She actually seemed to be a circular chewer… For someone who prides themselves on their looks – this chewing thing of hers was really out of sorts… It kinda mangled her face into these grotesque poses as she chewed and snapped her way through “listening” to me…
She countered, “Well they don’t know what they are doing… Doing that exercise on a ball is almost impossible, I should know I use to be a trainer…” and then back to the gum snaps and the chews…
So at this point I am a little suspect as to the veracity of her claim… I’m thinking to myself , “I doubt that this could be wrong… I spent a lot of time learning how to do this and I had a trainer with me the whole time… and when is she gonna stop chewing like a cow?”
Her headband seemed to tighten as she scowled at me, I guess for not budging to her whim… In fact, her entire body seemed angry that I wasn’t kowtowing to her wishes… Clearly, she is use to getting what she wants…
I started to get mad…
I said to her, “Well how would you do it?”
And then she said it, “Well if you’re gonna be an idiot about it… why should I even bother to show you how to do a push up correctly… “
For a moment I froze… Was it entirely possible that Barbie did not hear me? Did her plastic ears miss a beat? Or was it all that chewing?
Anyway, Barbie got fed up and walked away… snapping her gum in her wake as she entered deep into himbo territory for some solace. I heard her say to a very muscled himbo, “That jerk dosen't know how to do a push up… look…” The himbo replied, “Idiot…” Even their laugh was fake and then off together they went upstairs… perhaps Skipper was waiting up there for them...
I paused for a minute or two, reflected on what had just happened... I realized she was one of the many people we encounter in life who don’t care to listen or understand, or more importantly was ill informed and made decisions based on the wrong concept... Whatever it was I was clear, never going to change that - no matter how hard I could have tried, and proceeded to do the best set of intermediate planks I had ever done.
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