Thursday, May 5, 2011

Salad Bar Superhero

As you well know I am a devotee of my local Whole Foods - in fact I am there so frequently that I have quite a few friends who work there and generally it's a wonderful experience - even encountering the "Pouf" (see my story about Hangry Himbos in February) has never deterred me from going - nor will this story but it is "interesting"...

The other day I was perusing the hot and cold salad bar - there are wondrous foods there, everything from cranberry couscous (a personal favorite) to pineapple fried rice.  It's just the way I like it, you simply grab your food container and pile in as much as you would like and enjoy. 

I always start at the hot section - for no other reasons than to start...  And as I was debating whether or not to have some Sicilian Cauliflower, I noticed a commotion at the other end of the cold salad bar...  A woman, we'll call her "the scrambler" appears to be replicating the moves the Tasmanian devil made as he whirred to life in all those Bugs Bunny cartoons.

Through a wind storm of Romaine lettuce, you could hear a high pitch voice saying, "Oh my God...", "I can't believe this" and "What am I gonna do?"...  People, including myself cautiously approach the vegetable maelstrom to see what was the matter...  for a moment it all stopped with a loud thud, a sound we all recognized as flesh thumping metal, "I got it...", the scrambler shouted and then just as suddenly, "It's an onion - damn..."

Within a split second, with the romaine lettuce scattered about the floor, the micro-greens picked up where the unfortunate lettuce left off and began flying about ...  this was less whirlwindy and more digging, clearing if you will, with the poor baby greens flying out from there protective container...

The scrambler was petite in a pastel sweater and jeans...  Her brownish/blondish/reddish hair, pulled back into a long pony tail, gave way to very delicate features...  She actually looked like one of those statues that represents the seasons, with lettuce leafs sticking out of her hair at odd angles, the remenents of her self powered storm...

So of course, I have to ask... "Excuse me, is everything ok?"

She replies (alfalfa sprouts coming out of her knuckles - I might add) , "Does it look like everything's ok?"  In fairness, I would probably have said that too... "I have lost a ring...  I need to find it... I was only at this section and it has to be here..."

At this point I think that Candid Camera is gonna pop out and yell surprise...  I start thinking to myself, "Doesn't this happen only on TV?  Wasn't this a Designing Women's Episode...  Whoa wait a minute, why do I remember it was a Designing Women's Episode?  I'm pretty hungry...  Focus Dave, damn it, focus... Hmmmmm...."

After Scrambzilla decimated the greens section she set her sights on the onions, apparently the ring was a bluey/purpley gem stone and maybe it got mixed in there... 

By this point the Whole Foods Salad Bar Police showed up in earnest...  and with precision that only can be described as, "they must drill for these sorts of events", a mob of people are now completely rifling through the "make your own salad" part of the salad bar...

As I stepped away, slowly might I add, I went to continue getting more hot food... and as I walked by all the food containers - what do I see - a bluish/purplish ring glistening from between the small and large containers... Seems the scrambler must have taken it off to get a box...  Weird but whatever... The ring was quite beautiful, perhaps an antique and glistened in the light...

With chest puffed out and ring between two fingers, I strode to the Scrambler and presented my find...  The Green Goddess of Whole Foods let out a shriek that changed the migratory pattern of a few birds.. and I was hugged as I deposited the ring back to her hands...  Lots of smiles were on hand as the Whole Foods Police not only scrubbed the scene of the crime but eerily had it all reset in a matter of minutes...

The scambler became a blur in the store...  seems she high tailed it right out the door upon the find...  So feeling good about myself, I decided to have the Sicilian Cauliflower and relish in victory...

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Scaling my inner Everest

Ok so I have been gone for a bit.... and I am honored a lot of you asked me what was going on... well the short answer is a good one - let's just say I took up a new hobby - emotional mountain climbing.

Now this is not a game where you get really upset and physically climb up a mountain (in some respects that would be too easy), nor is it where you insert jokes about goatherds or yodelers, no this is where you scale your inner Everest, climb through your emotions and look out at yourself on peaks of new awareness... and scaling I have been.

Now, it has been a tumultuous month for me and I think I have been handling things in stride. But there has been something missing. My usually pretty powerful internal drive has been a bit dormant. It's functioning - but only recently did I realize I had shifted gears - and don't read in too much to that - it just means instead of having 100 things on my plate I was hovering at 90...

So with emotional gear in hand, I proceeded to go up an undiscovered mountain...

If I had to give this mountain a name it would be something along the lines of the Great Sorting Mountain chain and I was climbing the biggest and highest of them, the Great Mount of Past Reconciliation.

As I see this mountain, it's filled with crags and cracks, slopes and peaks, channels cutting through it AND boy is it dangerous... It's color obsidian and the weather (well let's just say you can't see the top) is always cloudy and rainy (just like New Jersey in late April and early May). Basically, it is imposing.

With all my mental abilities ready (just like my physical trainer, I have a great therapist too!) I set out on my mission. As I began the climb all I knew was I was very determined to get to the bottom of what has been "missing" recently...

Base camp for this expedition proved to be key... finding the right spot to feel safe did require a lot more surveying than expected... Emotions are always so unpredictable and unstable. I can now say with great authority that I knew exactly the reserves I need to call on and picked the right place and the right memories to operate from.

So with more confidence - knowing I had a base - I continued my ascent...

This mountain was high, for what I thought was a few days to conquer quickly became a few weeks... You see, with the fiendish slowness of time, I had to recognize this great mountain required me to acknowledge my past, honor it, respect it and understand it before it would lift its foggy veil and let me pass through the summit onto its peak. That my friends is no easy feat.

My break came as I was packing away physical things and their memories. The act of putting things where they belong or to return them to their owner was the most therapeutic thing I could do. As soon as I started I became more aware and as I completed my task - I had a revelation. The more I physically packed things away - the more emotionally I did too.

The lesson learned was instead of getting angry, or hating the thing or memory, I simply acknowledged that it's a time gone by and my ire was false at that object, my ire was at the situation that caused me to have to put it away.

Upon that, the clouds did give away... and what I sight I saw... I guess it's my version of Shangri-La. I can see its peak and the bright lights and future it holds...

So as I scale this now not too bleak mountain - and it might be awhile before I get to the top - I acknowledge my past for what it is - I take comfort in knowing my base camp - people like you who are reading this - is the safest place to begin your ascent to your dreams...

THE BLOG IS BACK AND WILL CONTINUE...