Monster in the Freezer Case

So I believe I just saw a monster...  in the freezer case of Whole Foods no less...

Sitting in a clear jar, toying with my emotions, the beautiful sorbetto lay in wait... Years of marketing and preparation suited her well...  Cursivey script letters, punctuated the glistening frozen paradise... Her Roman Raspberry innards, calling me like a siren...  tempting me with the promise of luscious dark pink kisses...  Ecstasy was available for only $4.99 (no coupon required!)... I have to say it did give me pause... 

So I held my new found temptation in my hand...  Gently caressing it as I turned to read its label... and there like so many other romances - little distortions became big lies...  Yes, there was not an ounce of fat in there...  Perfect in a way...  But what lurked underneath that - that too too sweet sugary pulp... 25 grams too much of it - I'd say...

Like a new lover scorned, my temptress continued her onslaught...  clouding my mind with temporal pleasures and a desperate need to sell before her expiration date...  With passionate plees, she called to me, reached out to me, frozen in my hand...  A thin layer of frost, the harbinger of what was to come, began our painful seperation...  and for a moment she had me, till I began to wonder,  "What is dextrose and why is it in here?"

 "Cruel, cruel world," she seemed to say... as her angry barcode glared at me...

How sad I thought, perhaps just a taste, a hint of support, but I know myself much better than that...  "I must resist" is all I thought...  and with trembling hand I put down my very scarlet lettered lover and walked away, alone, but glad to have those sweet memories of moments gone by...