Well sometimes doesn't this sum up life...

These mice above are a great example of how I feel sometimes...

Running around and around in a big circle...  Don't we all feel that way... 

Perhaps its the emergence of spring, or those tense moments we all don't like to have that make it all the more evident that sometimes we are just spinning our wheels.  I have done a lot of wheel busting or derailing (your choice of word) lately in trying to stop spinning my wheels and have had great success...  However, as with life some wheels are larger than others... 

I find if I am allowed to think it through and not feel pressured for an answer, there is always a way...  I believe that...  I explained to a few people I have learned that "NO" is truly not an answer.  You just have to dig in and figure things out...  Hard work really does pay off and no matter what you can control your destiny... Hell, I'm living proof these days...

What gets me is the emotions that are conjured up... people when pressured are usually at their worst...  I have a job and some what of a life that does not allow me that luxury.  I believe in helping people, finding solutions and trying NOT to disappoint anyone... oh wait, there is one person who I disappoint, myself...  You see for far too long I have moved everything in front of my needs and now I am starting to realize the price I paid...  so now I am working on righting a lot of wrongs that I have done to me...  but also still stick to my mantra of helping people not hindering...

In parts of my life, I am really almost there - just mere steps away from freeing myself of the big wheels that have haunted me of late...  I can feel them going down, I just have to figure out a few more steps...  I am rallying all my strength (though part of that is zapped from the INTENSE workouts I'm doing - LOL - I will be blogging about that tomorrow) and I know I will get there - one way or another...  when I get through this last hurdle, a darker part of my life will close, something I have been wanting and needing for a long time...

So if you run into me in the next few days and I seem perplexed or distant... know that I am just spinning the wheels in my head to figure out how to stop spinning the wheels of my life...

...and the winner is...

So I had a conversation last night after the Academy Awards - the person I was talking to ask me which was my favorite speech?  I said to them matter of factly, "Well it has been said yet..." 

There was silence on the other end of the phone. 

I continued, "Well the film hasn't been made yet (I did stifle the words, 'a very important picture', like Auntie Norma Desmond would say) and I haven't gone up there to accept the award..." 

Strange only one of us laughed - and it wasn't me...

Two true facts for those of you who aren't in the know - one I am a theatre arts person (COULD NOT TELL BY MY PERSONALITY RIGHT?) and two I went to the Academy Awards way back in the 90's when Cuba Gooding Jr. won for Jerry Maguire...  I made a promise to myself I would return and at least be nominated for something...  Granted I placed it only a few years later but hey if David Seidler, writing the King's Speech, at 73 can win an award - I got some time....

So I thought about it and I wondered if I was nominated and should I have won - considering all the things going on in my world... what would I say... 

"Wow!  This is amazing... incredible, wonderful... but there are somethings I would like to point out to you all...  Yes, everyone thanks the cast, crew and production teams and granted I am right there with you - with out all of you - this wouldn't be possible...  Thank You... 

But there are people out there who you all don't know that truly won this award tonight... Who are they you ask?  Well they are the people who have been my family and friends in what seems like forever... 

You have them don't you?  The people that you just click with, cry with, laugh with...  who strangely are more your family than what the definition is...  They show kindness, bawdiness and they are the funniest people around...  They can sit around a table and in minutes rally to a cause, dispel any rumor and gossip more rigorously they anyone you know...  You know them right?  Because I hope we all have them in our lives...  Mine break into teams...

There are "the muses", my rag tag bunch of beauties who give me inspiration daily, there are "the co-conspirators" whose mission while secret have never failed me and our loyalty and trust are a lesson for the ages, then there are "the ones" - those who I would go into the fire for...  but together they make an impressive array of mentors whom I learn from and treasure.


There are also, "those people" - the ones who doubted and wronged me.  Without you as well, this wouldn't be possible.  Your mistake was to make a judgement call too quickly...  and while you are on the periphery of my life - it is important to acknowledge your presence - and to remind people to rise up and above their critics and blaze trails those stunted people could never ever do. 

Of course I am thanking my long suffering family - putting up with me for all these years... and then to the two people who made this all possible, my mother and father - they prove to me daily that my mother should be made a saint and the nickname "The Riddler" is most apt for my Dad... "

And in true Parano style as the music swelled, I would trip as I walked off the stage...

The Countdown has begun...

http://www.abrandnewdave.com/

The Ocean Floor

Water - not the normal thing this fire sign talks about...  But I'm not talking about the Atlantic or the Pacific...  I'm talking about the waters that lie within all of us.. You know the channels and currents of our mind, and the waters that make each of us - well us...

In the oceans that are me, I know that it is pretty much setup like our earth... Plateaus and canals that are the most accessible, but then there is the deep water...  The darker places... literally the core of what our minds ocean function on...  Some people simply allow there oceans to remain undisturbed - moving and flowing to their own natural rhythm.  Others are all about turbulent waters... kicking up storm after emotional storm...

I mean how do you determine your emotional state?  Do you notice rough seas or storm clouds... or is it like a tidal wave from nowhere?  Is it the acknowledgement of the issues at hand - or are there things that lie below the surface waters that are growing out all the other issues that bubble to the top?  More importantly, are we dealing with just symptoms, like storms passing, and not causes?  I mean with what seems like the Prozaic nation that we have become - have we lost our ability to delve into the deep waters of our own psyche or is it just easier to skim the surface and skim through life?  

I think from my other posts, you can guess my stance on the issue...

What lies beneath the surface is what truly interests me...  You see, I think that at the core of the myriad of issues we face there are the biggies, the primal ones that breath life in or fester and grow out into an array of situations, responses and reactions.  The only way to ever see what they are however is to take the plunge...

It might be the most beautiful thing you have ever seen.  For me I look into myself usually sitting by a barely dawn lit sunny window, when the dogs are sleeping and there is peace in the house...  These are the only waters I don't fear to tread...  Like a diver, submersion is breath taking and scary and for a minute or two I panic in the unnaturalness of it all... but then I am in my world...

I am taking the plunge as it were into the deep waters a lot these days...  Swimming literally in oceans of synapse and feelings and emotions...  Looking around inside of me to see what is down there...  What is at my core?  Am I missing something? You know what I found? 

You read it here a lot.

The first few minutes are the scariest thing you have ever felt - because in our world emotions are frowned upon usually - and diving deep into a sea of feelings takes some bravery - but then all of a sudden there is peace, understanding and knowledge...

Dive my friends, dive...

hai moũsai

Oh look, didn't think I could do anything in Greek now did ya? 

Brand New Dave - Brand New Skills....

Would it be more impressive if I typed, αἱ μοῦσαι... WOW! Right, and he's not even Greek is what you're thinking...  Let's just say, for a variety of reasons, I feel certain affinities toward Greek culture as a whole and have always appreciated their mythology, epic poetry and well their food...

So the hai moũsai or the Muses have long been a favorite...  I kinda like the idea that these ladies rove the earth inspiring people to do great things... and that got me thinking - as I ponder Greek culture a lot - well basically where are they?  Why haven't I seen them of late?  Have I ever seen them?  And then it hit me, (NO I'm not going for the cheap and easy shot of the Olivia Newton John Xanadu joke...) I believe they have been hiding in plain site...  For real...  Hmmm, did a muse inspire that thought?  This game could be played for days...

But the simple fact is, you know Snow White had seven drawfs why can't Dave have nine muses?  In fact why can't we all have nine muses...

I consulted the wikipedia for some handy notes as to how I should identify them, I mean after all they have these otherworldly abilities, how could I figure that out - when in doubt go to the some what inaccurate but oft available wiki...  According to the wiki I found, "In Renaissance and Neoclassical art, the dissemination of emblem books such as Cesare Ripa's Iconologia (1593 and many further editions) helped standardize the depiction of Muses in sculptures or paintings, who could be distinguished by certain props, together with which they became emblems readily identifiable by the viewer, enabling one immediately to recognize the art with which they had become bound. Calliope (epic poetry) carries a writing tablet; Clio (history) carries a scroll and books; Erato (love/erotic poetry) is often seen with a lyre and a crown of roses; Euterpe (lyric poetry) carries a flute, the aulos; Melpomene (tragedy) is often seen with a tragic mask; Polyhymnia (sacred poetry) often is seen with a pensive expression; Terpsichore (choral dance and song) is often seen dancing and carrying a lyre; Thalia (comedy) often is seen with a comic mask; and Urania (astronomy) carries a pair of compasses and the celestial globe"

Well clearly that was the 1500's - so I took the liberty (again inspired) bringing these ladies up to speed in 2011...  So clearly Calliope would carry an Ipad, Clio a Kindle, Erato drop the lyre keep the roses, Euterpe would probably have a digital music device, Melpomene (I think I know a few of her) would be wearing some sorta of unhappy messaged shirt, Polyhymnia just looks pensive, Terpsichore would dance about, Thalia would be wearing the happy messaging shirt and Urania would have a GPS.

Ok so clearly, I know how to identify them...   So for the last few weeks, (Strange did one of them inspire me to do this blog?) I have been thinking about all of you out there who inspire me and then violia it hit me, you are my muses...

Now first off I am honored, I really am...  The fact that you changed your names and identities to keep me guessing had me going for a while...  But after long and careful observation I deduced the nine of you...  So over the next few weeks I will begin calling you out, with enough descriptors that you'll know that I know which muse you are... again, inspiration...  and share a tale of each of you... Stayed tuned...

If you think you are one of my muses, comment on this post....  we all know that I know who does what... remember the anonymous incident of last week, and without giving your name, test the waters and see if I can guess who you are...

On a serious note, I want to thank all of you for all the inspirations that you have bestowed on me.... 

Dear Ground Hog...

MEMO

TO: Ground Hog

FR: Dave

RE: Forecast

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So I thought we had an agreement... you forecasted an early spring.  So happy was I at that forecast, I took to the airwaves myself, at least on Facebook, and posted that I was keeping you to your word... Let's review, shall we, I said;

NOTE TO GROUND HOG: I am an animal lover and desperately want to believe your forecast for an early spring... However, with the current winter mess we are all dealing with - I would like to remind you that angry people like myself know where you live and will have no problem reminding you of your forecast, one way or another, should you be wrong... Just a little reminder.

Now I know you don't possess thumbs, so traversing the internet might be tough, but there is touch screen technology even my dog knows how to use...  He randomly calls people all the time...  considering you forecast the weather - a much more technical job - I highly recommend catching up with all the technological advances...  perhaps an Ipad?

To further jog your memory various people responded to to the post with equally telling comments;

"..animal lover also!!! I'll be right there with you !!!!!!!!!" 

 "Rumor has it the little rodent entered the witness relocation program shortly afte making his statement.", 

 "FYI my dog is an excellent rodent finder and while I've never been a violent person......I'll hold the fat thing down while you beat it ;-)"

So consider this your last warning...  I think I, like all my friends and family, have been more than reasonable.  We are willing to overlook this, shall we say, hiccup in your forecast, but NO MORE MY FRIEND...

I don't need to remind you, who we are, what we are and most importantly a majority of us come from the "heartland", New Jersey....  Think long and hard next time you predict the weather oh not so truthful rodent... and if I were you I would pray that not one more ounce of snows comes our way...

All the best,

Dave

William Wallace on a Wednesday Night

"Ay, fight and you may die, run and you’ll live. At least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives…. but they’ll never take our FREEDOM!!!"

People who know me , know that when I am quiet it's usually not good... I really strive to express myself and be heard... Yes, I can yammer and more importantly I can blather on, but in all the words I throw at people (I freely admit I do this) I strive to be heard... don't we all...

Last night I made a breakthrough... There has been something I have been yearning to say to someone very close to me... Very difficult were the words I needed to say... But I knew I had to say them... I was driving home from Long Island late last night, and that person happened to call me... and at the start the conversation was topical - I literally found my inner William Wallace... Hey I am part Scottish... and I summoned up a lot of might, a lot of courage and found the resolve to move forward with a conversation I needed to have...

The "enemy" that has kept me at bay for all this time was my great adviscary, fear. Fear of expressing myself in such a personal way and communicating a difficult topic and being heard and understood, with NO OTHER VOICE BUT MY OWN - no presumptions or no interpretations...

Now I know that the recipient of my new found might didn't expect to have this convo... but at the end of the day, I finally got to say what I needed to...

I took the risk that Wallace references in his quote, and decided to was more important for me to say what I needed to, then not and risk being heard or not...

And I was on, my friends - there is a magical ability when we humans go for broke... I have to say that I thought my argument was sound and the conviction in my heart got translated to my voice in the most clear way I know how...

I urged this person to rage with me, rise up and take flight... Because I see that issues we share in common were holding this person back too... I knew that I needed to tell them this and I knew that I had been late in bringing that information to the table... and that was holding me back...

I am a fire sign and the conversation was on fire... I can tell you this - I have never been more pleased that I got to say what I needed to and how freeing it was for me...

"In the Year of our Lord 1314, patriots of Scotland - starving and outnumbered - charged the fields of Bannockburn. They fought like warrior poets; they fought like Scotsmen, and won their freedom."

I can now add to that quote - that in 2011, this patriotic part Scot learned how to speak out like and found his inner warrior poet - and more important on a Wednesday night on a long drive home I won some more the elusive freedoms I seek...