The Man in the Mirror

So my house is full of mirrors - and no not for the "you look fab..." reason.  I am lucky enough to have a house filled with light and it just further brightens it...  Well today as I slogged my way to human status I walked by one of the mirrors and I was astonished at what I saw...  Staring back at me was a man I have only recently met.

Now you can call it a shameless plug, or that uneasiness of entering a new decade today, but for maybe the first time in my life I did not recoil at the image cast back at me.  And I still looked a little sleepy - FYI.  Granted its one part excellent therapy and another part the tremendous outpouring of support I have received of late, but I would like to say it felt - well - good.  I hesitate because this is truly unexplored territory.

So what does all that mean - I mean come on - Dave looks at himself in the mirror and he's ok - big deal? -my friends that is tremendous - in so many ways - but mostly it shows me there is progress!  Imagine if you will 39 years of feeling blah or mediocre... not because the world said so, but because you - by yourself -thought it.   Of course there have been defining moments, recognitions and acknowledgements but nothing that to you personally ever have stood out!  And of all days for it to happen, today, maybe because I have had "me" on my mind - or maybe because I truly believe in signs from whatever its we gets signs from...  Either way was the cosmos signaling the beginning of something new?

Choose your favorite religion or mythology and they all talk about us being connected - well I certainly believe that's true...  I have seen first hand the power of prayer - I have seen first hand the power of faith and I have seen first hand the most miraculous things happen in everyday life.  But when something big happens to you - well you're never prepared for it... the immediacy of it - its rush...

It happen today for me, all by a glance in a mirror - simple... the way I like it.  I could think of nothing worse then getting a sign oh say in the produce aisle or perhaps right before disaster struck... Now I know that part of this sounds hokey - and no I am not stumping for an energy drink or a fitness regime - but come on everyone - isn't it time that we lift at least a few of the veils? 

Here's why I think we are all connected:

• You can not EVER tell me that things don't happen for a reason - my life and its trajectory could be living proof of some sort of grand scheme (questionable on grand - but always high on comedy)  - but dosen't everyone feel that way?  I have those moments where I just stop for a second and revel in where I am at, what I am doing, who is doing it with me, but there in those moments, I can feel something... (boy you can interpert that in many ways - LOL)

• I have a team of friends (I lovingly call them my co-conspirators) who literally have shocked me back into life - with words and encouragement and actions that have ingrained themselves in my being...  Those indelible marks prove to me that people can rise up - against the odds - stand up and be counted - and help people with a ferocity, tenacity and drive that makes them all heroes in my book... and proves that we are all connected...

• I love that I get to see the good side of people and even more so the most excellent side of people because it drives me to be a better person...  the only way we ever get to see these feats is by - say it with me - being connected...

• I like that I have muses (whom now I get cornered at public events to "out" who they are - well five of nine know they are in the pantheon - but ever sly I won't tell them which one they are) and their source of inspiration is incredible - but all because I connect to them in a mighty big way...

• Finally I feel the vibe - you know the one - when again for a moment of two its like everything stands still and you and a person or people are in the moment and nothing else matters - I take that as a sign and a connection - and I am grateful that I share that with all of you...

So yes, I am a big puddle of love right now (take that ANY WAY you want)...but remember this kids - A BRAND NEW DAVE is in charge - not that old sad one - a much improved, much happier, much more playful, much more verbose (hard to believe!) and much more loved Dave Parano is here to stay - and that's because of you!  I truly will never forget those who stood by me and mark my words (I keep threatening this - I know) we are all rising up - together - to a much better state of being... (those of you who think you're gonna be kicking and screaming on the way up let me remind you my muses are pretty tough...)

THE PITHINESS OF THE BLOG RESUMES TOMORROW - till then Carpe Diem - stop for a moment and like me revel in this great connection!

Anagram

***  Ok kids let's play a game...  What the hell am I really saying?

Yoga Plant Fume
Of How Wink You
Did Serve Molly
Piano Printer
He Truth Knot Two

Looking forward to answers...

A Warning of Words

"Words are birds with fragile wings and swords for lords and fearful kings"

So I think I am a little fed up tonight...  I'm not feeling my wry little self today... Now this is not a normal post of mine, and though I exercise great restrain on this blog... I figure I am allow to vent once in a while...

So everything you read here is boiled down to one common denominator... that is... everything is simply words...  These are well place and thought out words that elicit emotions and hopefully make all of you think, or laugh, or pause or something and that's that.... the goal is to make you feel...

I haven't been "feeling" in a while... the yet to be documented series of events that got me to this place, left me temporarily without the ability to "feel"...  Just know that I suffered major emotional traumas along the way....  but here I am, deciding that the best way to deal with my demons, is to expose them for all to see....  Crazy or stupid or brave - you can make your own choice...

You see I firmly believe we are put on this earth to be examples of what our collective potential is...  So truly, why not make lemonade out of lemons?  Is it so wrong to write about experiences and feelings.  It certainly has been done before...  My favorite book is the Great Gatsby, and I admire each and every word written in it - for its placement, thought and emotion... It is witnessing a great feat of literary architecture...  But I doubt F. Scott Fitzgerald worried about someone interpreting his book the wrong way...

If you see a truth in you or someone you know, because I have written something, that is simply your experience, and I hope its a good one... perhaps, if its bad, you need to know it is not even my intention... Several people have taken this to a greater level and have shall we say exposed themselves by making words personal that weren't even meant for them...  In fact, it is almost insulting that these people are so desperate to make themselves relevant that they dream up scenarios that force my words to try and fit their situations...  it isn't always about them - I'm sad to say...

This is a risky game I play and I gladly play it because I enjoy it and I hope I give back something to anyone who reads this - plain and simple...  I struggle with being heard all the time...  By writing things - at least in these situations - I feel I have a fighting chance...  Every response I get from you all, and there a lot of you, gives me encouragement...  

You know that several people have sent me messages really identifying with these words...  Whether its my struggles with my appearance, weight or emotions it is nice to know that I am not alone...  I am not trying to be the Lifetime movie of the week but I really love hearing back from you... I am honored that people are moved, sometimes angered but always respectful - at least most of the time - when they try to convey their experience with me.

I leave you with this, please know that I truly appreciate everyone who is taking this journey with me...  and while my posts have been sporadic this month - I am promising you bigger and better things to come...

THANK YOU ONE AND ALL!

Monster in the Freezer Case

So I believe I just saw a monster...  in the freezer case of Whole Foods no less...

Sitting in a clear jar, toying with my emotions, the beautiful sorbetto lay in wait... Years of marketing and preparation suited her well...  Cursivey script letters, punctuated the glistening frozen paradise... Her Roman Raspberry innards, calling me like a siren...  tempting me with the promise of luscious dark pink kisses...  Ecstasy was available for only $4.99 (no coupon required!)... I have to say it did give me pause... 

So I held my new found temptation in my hand...  Gently caressing it as I turned to read its label... and there like so many other romances - little distortions became big lies...  Yes, there was not an ounce of fat in there...  Perfect in a way...  But what lurked underneath that - that too too sweet sugary pulp... 25 grams too much of it - I'd say...

Like a new lover scorned, my temptress continued her onslaught...  clouding my mind with temporal pleasures and a desperate need to sell before her expiration date...  With passionate plees, she called to me, reached out to me, frozen in my hand...  A thin layer of frost, the harbinger of what was to come, began our painful seperation...  and for a moment she had me, till I began to wonder,  "What is dextrose and why is it in here?"

 "Cruel, cruel world," she seemed to say... as her angry barcode glared at me...

How sad I thought, perhaps just a taste, a hint of support, but I know myself much better than that...  "I must resist" is all I thought...  and with trembling hand I put down my very scarlet lettered lover and walked away, alone, but glad to have those sweet memories of moments gone by...

... and then along came Barbie

*******   I could not resist the music - LOL

So, I think that it is more than appropriate in honor of Ken, as in Barbie and Ken, turning 50 that I had a run in this morning with a real life Barbie…

Now training at my gym is a serious subject for me…  I am not terribly friendly at my gym, I view it as work and “me” time…  My routines as described here are not for the faint of heart, and it takes a lot of concentration and determination to continue moving forward…  With that said I think you will agree I am not out for any social aspect of the gym…

Well today I was doing intermediate planks…  A quick explanation, a plank is when you rest on your forearms in a push up position for as long as you can… it is a core exercise… intermediate planks are when you do the same thing except your arms are resting on a very wily yoga ball…  in other words your core has to be pretty strong in order to do the exercise and NOT fall off the ball…

Now I think you can imagine that this, like all exercise, requires concentration…  I am trying desperately not to fall off the ball…  So you can imagine my surprise when from behind me I hear a high pitch voice and a gum snap, saying, “You’re doing that wrong…” 

Now I thought for a moment that I might be hearing things but I heard another gum snap, the same words and then out of the corner of my eye I saw the bedazzled pink leg warmer of a potential new menace in my life…  Barbie…

For the record, I would normally welcome criticism…  In fact, I probably would appreciate finding out the “right way” to do something – but it was that tone in her voice…  I think you know what I mean…  that tone that sorta tells you, “ I’m right and you're wrong”,  without even room for explanation…  Perhaps I’m just sensitive but trust me when I say this – this was no supportive or constructive assist – I was an easy target for this Mattel wannabe…

Literally standing before me was a living Barbie doll, sweat band included…  Blonde hair in a ponytail, a very form fitting pink and rainbow combo spandex outfit and sneakers I am sure actually light up when she walks…  I must have looked quizzical to elicit yet another gum snap…  All I kept thinking was how does she fit in that dream house of hers?  She had an abundance of confidence and clearly a following at the gym…  Lots of the himbos were checking her out…  but I was the “lucky” one she was addressing….

She went ahead and stationed herself in front of me…  She said, “If you keep doing that you’re gonna hurt yourself”, gum snap and chew, chew and more chew…

It is rare that I am in the presence of a living cliché…  All she needed to add to her repertoire was a couple of, “Like Oh my Gods” and boom – I would have been transported back in time about 20 years…  But with a clear plastic resolve – she owned what she was – and strangely I appreciated that…

I said to her, “Well, this is how I was taught how to do it, by one of the trainers here…  You know this is the intermediate plank…” 

More vapid than Sarah Brightman in Phantom of the Opera, I just  felt the icy gaze of disapproval… I have to say at this point I noticed her chewing was quite impressive…  She actually seemed to be a circular chewer…  For someone who prides themselves on their looks – this chewing thing of hers was really out of sorts…  It kinda mangled her face into these grotesque poses as she chewed and snapped her way through “listening” to me…

She countered, “Well they don’t know what they are doing… Doing that exercise on a ball is almost impossible, I should know I use to be a trainer…” and then back to the gum snaps and the chews… 

So at this point I am a little suspect as to the veracity of her claim…  I’m thinking to myself ,  “I doubt that this could be wrong… I spent a lot of time learning how to do this and I had a trainer with me the whole time… and when is she gonna stop chewing like a cow?” 

Her headband seemed to tighten as she scowled at me, I guess for not budging to her whim…  In fact, her entire body seemed angry that I wasn’t kowtowing to her wishes…  Clearly, she is use to getting what she wants…

I started to get mad…

I said to her, “Well how would you do it?”

And then she said it, “Well if you’re gonna be an idiot about it… why should I even bother to show you how to do a push up correctly… “

For a moment I froze…  Was it entirely possible that Barbie did not hear me?  Did her plastic ears miss a beat?  Or was it all that chewing?

Anyway, Barbie got fed up and walked away… snapping her gum in her wake as she entered deep into himbo territory for some solace.  I heard her say to a very muscled himbo, “That jerk dosen't know how to do a push up… look…”  The himbo replied, “Idiot…” Even their laugh was fake and then off together they went upstairs…  perhaps Skipper was waiting up there for them...

I paused for a minute or two, reflected on what had just happened...  I realized she was one of the many people we encounter in life who don’t care to listen or understand, or more importantly was ill informed and made decisions based on the wrong concept...  Whatever it was I was clear, never going to change that - no matter how hard I could have tried, and proceeded to do the best set of intermediate planks I had ever done.

Art and Life...

When was the last time you were moved by art?

More importantly, when was the last time you stopped and appreciated it?

We live in a world surrounded by art... and yet when was the last time you took the time, for yourself might I add, to experience it?


So I have the utmost repect for artists...  whether it is my friends in theatre, or my friends in other media...  The actual craft of what we do, is something that should be celebrated more...  This weekend I have had the pleasure of witnessing not one but two great artistic endeavors...

First off, please check out the link below.  Eric Enright is a talented artist, whose grasp of his media can make anyone appreciate it...  I encourage all of you out there to take a few minutes and look at his latest project...

http://www.365daysofprint.com/category/march-artist/eric-enright/

Secondly, I have never been so proud of my friend Maria Wheeler, till I saw her production last night...  Now, I knew Maria 15 years ago and when we last left her she played Velma Kelly in a production of Chicago, that truly was amazing, for a college troupe might I add...  Maria's love for her craft is evident and the fact that not only does she teach it, but fosters love for the art is something I find so admirable...  the link below is from our local paper and explains it far better than I do...

http://www.northjersey.com/news/117817778_Middle_school_students_are_ready_to_take_stage_in_musicals.html

Either way I hope you can take a few minutes and share in the joys of art this weekend...  To the Artists - Bravo to the Audience the same...  Please make art a smidge more of your life - it's worth it...

Ok - its pop quiz time

Ever wonder what your EQ is?

Emotional Intelligence, or EI, describes an ability or capacity to perceive, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, and of others.  Our EQ, or Emotional Quotient, is how one measures Emotional Intelligence. 

Emotions have the potential to get in the way of our most important business and personal relationships. According to John Kotter of Harvard Business School: “Because of the furious pace of change in business today, difficult to manage relationships sabotage more business than anything else - it is not a question of strategy that gets us into trouble; it is a question of emotions.”

Take the test...  I scored a 56

http://www.ihhp.com/quiz.php